Thursday, 18 December 2014

The Science of Laziness

 Laziness (also called indolence) is a disinclination to activity or exertion despite having the ability to do so. It is often used as a pejorative; related terms for a person seen to be lazy include couch potato, slacker, and bludger..go through the video presentation..

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How To Beat  it---
“Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” ~Benjamin Disraeli..

Focus on just a few things at a timeWe often create a big list of things that we want to do and achieve. Focusing on two or three things at a time will allow you to feel less overwhelmed. Instead, you will feel motivated, as your goals will now seem so much more achievable.

Out of the two sets of six-month goals below, which set gets you more motivated?
Learn to play guitar, do well at work, and get fit.
Learn to play guitar, do well at work, get fit, build big muscles, get better at singing, get top marks at school, learn how to draw better, and write a book.
When I see the second list, I personally feel overwhelmed. When my life looks a bit like this, I usually don’t know where to start or if I can succeed at anything I’ve set out to do.
People feel motivated when they feel they have a good chance of success.
This has been a big learning curve for me. When success seems like it is just around the corner, suddenly I get an amazing rush of energy where I feel liberated and excited to achieve bigger things.
Set yourself two or three easy to achieve goals at a time, and you will notice that you will naturally gain inspiration and motivation.

ExerciseThis has been a big revelation for me. Sometimes I get so fed up with feeling lazy and lethargic that I literally just start running. I have learned that if you can overcome physical laziness, your mind will naturally follow.

Allow yourself time to relax and do the things you enjoy.By relaxing and enjoying yourself, you also allow yourself to think about things, reflect, and feel inspired.

Get organized.
Your physical surroundings have a big impact on how you feel. If your house is a mess, you are likely to feel even more overwhelmed—both because clutter creates a sense of chaos, and because having to clean your house adds to your giant list of things to do in a ridiculously short amount of time.

Clean your house and organize your physical surroundings and you will naturally feel motivated to be more productive and active.
You will be making life simpler and easier to manage.

video --asap science
inputs --tiny buddha


Thursday, 11 December 2014

BE Socially Responsible--- it can happen to you.. it did happen to me

Few Days  back  i hear the story of unfortunate incidence in a cab in Delhi..but i always thought the cabs are well organised . how easily this thoughts can change and it can happen to you and me is what i realized today when i booked ola cabs
 heres what happened this is the  mail to ola cabs so called support--  subject  - YOU SHOULD BE BANNED


Dear  OLA   
today  morning  i had unfortunately  booked  your  cab  ..
 events  in chronological  order..
0755 booked a cab.. 

0803 CRN 2038392  CONFIRMED DRIVER MH11 BD 5116
0844 NO CAB CALLED OLA

0845 DRIVER CALLS ON THE WAY

0849 DRIVER CALLS

0853 I FINALLY FIND THE DRIVER..I AM IN THE  CAB

0854 I HAVE ONE MORE DRIVER CALLING MH14 0465

0903 I AM BEGGING OLA THAT THE CAB ..WHICH EVER SHOULD JUST DROP ME TO MY HOSPITAL..RUBY HALL.. THE DRIVER IS BEING TOLD  NOT TOO

0906 STATUS  QUO

 0907  JUST CALLING OLA

0908  NOW I HAVE ONE MORE CAB MH12 KN 1542

 0910 I  BEG DRIVER ONE  TO AT LEAST DROP ME TO A AUTO...

 0911 I GET A AUTO

 0915 OLA  I TELL THEM I AM TRAVELLING IN A AUTO ..JUST ASK THEM WHAT IF I WOULD HAVE BEEN A LADY AND THIS  WAS  HAPPENING IN  THE NIGHT...

0938  I RECEIVE A MSG ..AS  PER UR REQUEST(yea right thats why u send me three cabs)..UR BOOKING IS CANCELLED...

0939 COLD SHOULDER FROM OLA... PUT  MY CALL ON   HOLD....
0940
0943

 I  would have not  followed up this  matter... but  its time  one has to stand  up..really  please  tell me who would have  been responsible  if it was a lady  in  my place  or a family  with small  children... i will raise  my  voice..  its  time to stand up...

Monday, 27 October 2014

Pornography Addiction

Pornography addiction is a conceptual model assessing behavioral addiction characterized by compulsive, repeated use of pornographic material until it causes serious negative consequences to one's physical, mental, social, or financial well-being.]However, the existence of pornography addiction has been hotly contested by scientists and clinicians.Addiction to Internet pornography is also a form of cybersex addiction.
Problematic Internet pornography viewing is viewing of Internet pornography that is problematic for an individual due to personal or social reasons, including excessive time spent viewing pornography instead of interacting with others. Individuals may reportdepression, social isolation, career loss, decreased productivity, or financial consequences as a result of their excessive Internet pornography viewing impeding on their social life

please see and understand the video-

Treatment

Cognitive-behavioral therapy has been suggested as a possible effective treatment for pornography addiction based on its success with Internet addicts, though no clinical trials have been performed to assess effectiveness among pornography addicts as of 2012. Acceptance and commitment therapy has also been shown to be a potentially effective treatment for problematic Internet pornography viewing.

video-- from asap science
data from Wikipedia.

Thursday, 25 September 2014

HEART---BREAK--


Heartbreak is more than just an emotional defeat; to some the pain is very real. 

 IT can be caused by many different circumstances and that's what makes this emotion easily recognized by nearly every person on the planet. It can result from the loss of a loved one, a partner, a friend and even a close pet. Or it can be caused from disappointment, betrayal or a change from known surroundings. It might not even be a loss at all but a sense of loss, or the realization that the love of the person you care most for is drifting far from where it had always been. 

The Stages of Heartbreak:
Someone who is dealing with heartbreak follows patterns similar to those of the stages of death

1.Shock and Denial- you may deny the reality of the situation; this provides emotional protection from feeling overwhelmed by the situation. The shock of loss allows a state of emptiness to move in, clouding most judgment.  

2.Pain and Guilt-after the shock wears off it becomes replaced with suffering and unbearable pain. Regret for things you did wrong, or things that you weren’t able to do with this person adds to further tears. Life feels chaotic during this time, and its best to openly discuss feelings and stray from bottling up your emotions

3. Anger and Bargaining-
 lashing out is a common form of attempting to release all unspoken emotions. This is the stage where the “why why why?!” questioning comes in. The pleas for returned love run rapid, trying to bargain with fate or with the person who was just lost. 

4. Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness- like everyone else in this situation, a period of sadness clouds and
absorb your entire sense of being, leaving feelings of emptiness. This feeling occurs when you finally realize and accept the magnitude of your loss. Isolation from people is exceedingly normal, and offers a time to reflect on the past. 

5. Acceptance and an Upward Turn- The feelings of depression lift slightly and life becomes possible to survive without that person so deeply intertwined with each activity. The days are a little easier to shuffle through, and you see the possibility of continuation. The reality of the situation is fully accepted and, although happiness may not return for some time, the ability to move forward has occurred.

How to Mend A Broken Heart
The best thing for a broken heart is to be patient and allow time to settle all unresolved feelings. Talking about your feelings with friends or family help to smooth the passage of the loss, as will allowing yourself time to reflect on all feelings and answer questions you may have for yourself.  Keeping busy with hobbies you're passionate about and trying new things also keeps your mind busy during hard times. Get a group of friends together and watch a movie, or if you're more to yourself, try a quiet walk through a forest or even around the neighborhood. Give yourself time, and do things that make you happy. You are your own best friend and it's important that you accept who you are and like who you are as a person before you expect anyone else to.


Monday, 14 July 2014

Gambling Addiction & Problem Gambling part 2

Gambling Addiction & Problem 


Dealing with gambling cravings

Feeling the urge to gamble is normal, but that doesn’t make it any easier when you are struggling to make better choices. Remember, as you build healthier choices and a good support network, resisting cravings will be easier and easier. The following strategies can help
  • Reach out for support. Call a trusted family member, meet a friend for coffee, or go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting.
  • Do something else. Distract yourself with another activity, such as cleaning your house, going to the gym, or watching a movie.
  • Postpone gambling. Tell yourself that you’ll wait five minutes, fifteen minutes, or an hour — however long you think you can hold out. As you wait, the urge to gamble may pass or become weak enough to resist.
  • Give yourself a reality check. Visualize what will happen if you give in to the urge to gamble. Think about how you’ll feel after all your money is gone and you’ve disappointed yourself and your family again.
  • Avoid Isolation. If you gamble to socialize or be around other people, try healthier ways to build a social network. Volunteer, connect with old friends, make new friends.
If you aren’t able to resist the gambling craving, don’t be too hard on yourself or use it as an excuse to give up. Overcoming a gambling addiction is a tough process. You may slip from time to time; the important thing is to learn from your mistakes and continue working towards recovery.

Helping a family member with a gambling problem

Does my loved one have a gambling problem?

If your loved one has a gambling problem, he or she might:
  • Become increasingly defensive about his or her gambling. The more a problem gambler is in the hole, the more the need to defend gambling as a way to get money. Your loved one may get secretive, defensive or even blame you for the need to gamble, telling you that it is all for you and you need to trust in the “big win someday.”
  • Suddenly become secretive over money and finances. Your loved one might show a new desire to control household finances, or there might increasingly be a lack of money despite the same income and expenses. Savings and assets might mysteriously dwindle, or there may be unexplained loans or cash advances.
  • Become increasingly desperate for money to fund the gambling. Credit card bills may increase, or your loved one may ask friends and family for money. Jewelry or other items easily pawned for money may mysteriously disappear. 

How to help with a gambling problem

Compulsive and problem gamblers often need the support of their family and friends to help them in their struggle to stop gambling. But the decision to quit has to be theirs. As much as you may want to, and as hard as it is seeing the effects, you cannot make someone stop gambling.
If your family member has a gambling problem, you may have many conflicting emotions. You may try to cover up for a loved one or spend a lot of time and energy trying to keep him or her from gambling. At the same time, you might be furious at your loved one for gambling again and tired of trying to keep up the charade. The gambler may also have borrowed (or even stolen) money from you with no way to pay it back. He or she may have sold family possessions or run up huge debts on joint credit cards. When faced with the consequences of their actions, a gambler can suffer a crushing drop in self-esteem. This is one reason why there is a high rate of suicide among problem gamblers.

Tools for family members of problem gamblers:

  • Start by helping yourself. You have a right to protect yourself emotionally and financially. Don’t blame yourself for the gambler’s problems. The right support can help you make positive choices for yourself, and balance encouraging your loved one to get help without losing yourself in the process.
  • Don’t go it alone. It can feel so overwhelming coping with a loved one’s problem gambling that it may seem easier to rationalize their requests and problems “this one last time”. Or you might feel ashamed, feeling like you are the only one who has problems like this. Reaching out for support will make you realize that many families have struggled with this problem. Or you might consider therapy to help sort out the complicated feelings that arise from coping with a problem gambler.
  • Set boundaries in managing money. If a loved one is serious about getting help for problem gambling, it may help if you take over the family finances to make sure the gambler stays accountable and to prevent relapse. However, this does not mean you are responsible for micromanaging the problem gamblers impulses to gamble. Your first responsibilities are to ensure that your own finances and credit are not at risk.
  • Consider how you will handle requests for money. Problem gamblers often become very good at asking for money, either directly or indirectly. They may use pleading, manipulation or even threats and blaming to get it. It takes time and practice to learn how you will respond to these requests to ensure you are not enabling the problem gambler and keeping your own dignity intact.

Do’s and Don'ts for Partners of Problem Gamblers

Do
  • Seek the support of others with similar problems; attend a self-help group for families such as Gam-Anon.
  • Explain problem gambling to the children.
  • Recognize your partner’s good qualities.
  • Remain calm when speaking to your partner about his or her gambling and its consequences.
  • Let your partner know that you are seeking help for your own sake because of the way gambling affects you and the children.
  • Understand the need for treatment of problem gambling despite the time it may involve.
  • Take control of family finances; review bank and credit card statements.
Don’t
  • Preach, lecture, or allow yourself to lose control of your anger.
  • Make threats or issue ultimatums unless you intend to carry them out.
  • Exclude the gambler from family life and activities.
  • Expect immediate recovery, or that all problems will be resolved when the gambling stops.
  • Bail out the gambler.
  • Cover-up or deny the existence of the problem to yourself, the family, or others.
Source: Dept. of Mental Health & Addiction Services